What a weekend! It flew by way too fast. Let's start with the weather. I wish everyday was like this weekend. The sun was shinning and the breeze was just enough to keep it cool so that a light jacket was just enough. I was able to get away Friday night to a town on the ocean. I know you're wondering what I was up to this weekend. I spend Friday night with some friends and laughed all the way until I got home last night. I ate good food, spent time with great friends, and got to be a complete bum with on alcohol involved! What is better than that?
Ever spend time in a place and feel like you cut out all the noise, all the tension, all the stress, and for one great long moment you're in this happy place? It's exact how I feel when I'm there. It's not just the friends, the laughs, or the fact that it's an hour away from the drama at home, but it's the atmosphere. It's the way the wind feels on my face, the way you can hear the conversation in the house next door when you're on the deck, the way night brings romance without trying to. It makes me sad whenever I have to come home and wake up to the real world, but it only makes me appreciate each time I go there.
I went to the grocery story today and literally wanted to kill myself. There was a point in time when I did have fun going to purchase food for the week. I planned out my dinners and lunches and laughed at the couple that can't decide on which kind of bread they wanted. "I want wheat!" "But baby I like the whole grain." " The whole grain makes me have really bad gas." The things couples talk about in public scares me a little bit. Today made my list of most annoying things to do on a Sunday at 3 pm. Traffic wasn't too bad so I cant complain about that, but its like all the old people who take 8 hours to get to the grocery store get there right at 3 pm and block isles or stand in front of the milk for 25 minutes trying to decide if they want whole milk or 1%. Dear all elderly folk, I would please love to get my grocery shopping done without getting stuck behind you or crash into you because you decide mid walk that you were gonna back up into me to go down the isle you just spent 3 minutes going by. That sounds mean, but if you ever saw the place I do my food shopping, you'd be thinking it. All this in laughter guys, I would never seriously bash elderly people, just venting here.
It's back to work tomorrow and I'm anticipating the next two weeks to be really tough because the CEO of my company will be there. Hopefully I'll be able to get away at some point in between. So in light of this, I am sorry if I get to right to you often, although I promise I'll try.
I had this really great date planned tonight. This really great, handsome, stand up guy who has his shit figured out wanted to take me out. Any girl would be lucky to have him take them out and I canceled it. Why you ask? I can't figure that out. Just a feeling? Just an impulse? Because what I want is so close but so far away. Because I'm already seeing someone who makes even a great guy hold no comparison. Because I'm really stupid basically. At this point in time, it seems like I'm at a crossroads. My hearts pulling me one way and my heads pushing me in the complete opposite direction. Makes you wonder why they can't agree on anything. I spent the weekend trying to weight the options. Risk it or close myself off. I write about all the guys that turn out to be disappointments. But none of them really made me scared to feel. He does. What makes it happen like that? Is it the thrill of the fall? Is it the fire I feel when he touches me? Is it just a romanticized idea that I can't help but create in my head? Or is it real? Is it how I'm completely myself around him? Is it how I can't stop laughing when I'm with him? Is it how my body tingles every time he kisses me? I'm going to have to keep taking it day to day. Maybe at some point I'll be able to answer my questions. Time always answers questions. I've always been one to go with my heart and hopefully I didn't make the wrong decision tonight. Time will tell. Until next time, Over n' Out!
MW
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