Ahh late night writing. My favorite kind. When you can't sleep and you're mind can't help but wander. I've had a couple very interesting days. I know I didn't get to you yesterday but I had a crazy day. Work was as usual, but I went to my sisters last night for sister night. I FINALLY got my little nephew to shout, "WAHOO!" and lift his hands up in the air on camera. When I walked in the door he looked at me and came running up to me with this big smile on his face. I live for that shit! HA! We decided to play Clue Jr. with my 8 year old nephew. It was interesting to watch as we all (adults) basically were cheating and scolding my nephew when he tried to cheat.
After having a few laughs I went home and drifted into the unconsciousness. I had the strangest dream that I can't seem to get out of my mind. I was walking through this beautiful green garden. I wore this long white flowing dress. Almost like what a fairy would wear. Everything had glitter on it and I was running through trees looking for something. I got to the end and an open field of purple flowers lay in front of me. I started dancing through them and looked up at the sun. It was talking to me. I wish I could remember what it was saying. I woke up before I could find out what happened next. Maybe its my minds way of saying head toward the field of flowers and the sunlight aka happiness.
Happiness is what we make it. Happiness isn't an object, it isn't an action, it's a feelings. A sense of well being. We can only find it when we stop asking ourselves if we have it. At that point in time it wont matter whether we have it or not. Just like the best kind of revenge is not caring if your actually bestowing it upon them.
I looked through some old pictures of some old friends tonight and for a brief moment I missed it. I wouldn't say so much it was them I missed because they're not the same people that are in the pictures. I miss having friends I feel that way about. Don't get me wrong I still have very close friends, but I miss the fun I had with them. After about 10 minutes I came down from my memory. I had to remember that I'll feel that way again about new friends or the ones I still have that I'm so grateful for.
I can honestly say I will never go back to that phase of my life, because that's what it was, a phase. A phase that helped shape me into the person I am now. Not everyone you ever loved is meant to be in your life forever. Some people are meant to come in and out and leave an imprint on your heart and get you from a to b. Whats that saying? Some things fall apart so that better things can fall together. Ain't that true!
Anyways this weekend should be interesting, I'll try to update between events but until then I am off to bed and going to sleep in tomorrow! Until next time, Over n' Out!
MW
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