So I'm upset. I just wrote this entire blog for you tonight and when I went to post it, there was a server error and I lost my entire blog which I was very proud of so lets see if I can make another one just as good with all the right details.
Today was a beautiful fall day. I walked out of the house in my new little white fleet coat and brown uggs excited that I'm actually able to wear these without sweating. I strolled over to my dew covered car and made my way to work. I love Fall. I would say that it's my favorite season but that would be a lie. I love all the seasons and feel grateful that we have defined seasons that we're able to really enjoy ( and hate) in its own way. There's fall's leaves, winter's snow, spring's rain, and summer's heat. All of these leave room for some romantic imagination which lets face it, if we didn't have any imagination life would be boring and pointless.
Last night after I logged off from you all, I had somewhat of an emotional night. I'm actually very proud of myself for getting up this morning and getting through another day. You see after I wrote to you all, I took a minute and looked through all the different pictures I have of my grandfather which if you have been reading from the beginning you would know that he died last December. Besides my father, he was the best man I knew. There's this one picture of him on the couch, he cant be older than 35 and hes leaning into my uncle when he was younger. He looks happy and peaceful. He wasn't ashamed to show his love for his family or my grandmother for that matter, who was the love of his life. You see my grandfather and grandmother raised 8 kids in a 3 bedroom house so you can imagine the chaos. But each and every one of their children turned out to be the most loving and strongest people I know. I feel truly blessed to have their genes.
After my tearful trip down memory lane all I really wanted was to be held tight in bed and drift into unconsciousness with someone whispering comforting things in my ear. I thought I was going to get what I wanted, but you can guess that didn't happen. So I wept myself to sleep and remembered one of the greatest men alive. I have to remind myself that those types of men do exist, its just that the ones I meet have very big shoes to fill because I have very good men already in my family and life.
By the time I had made it to work this morning I had no time to really think about any personal problems because I get so caught up in work. 5:30 finally came around and I made my way home. Dinner ( pasta tonight) and television with my father followed. I sat on the opposite end of the couch with my hands resting behind my head, my legs on the ottoman, feet crossed and I peered over at my father. He was in the same exact position. Makes me smile that I'm so much like my father in that way.
Things are slowly getting better and I know that part of it is talking to you about all this. Even though you don't know who I am, it's nice to know that somewhere someone out there wants to take the time to read what my day is all about. Even if you do know my real identity, or what I really look like, or what I really do with my day, this is what really goes through my mind. These are the things that I think about at the end of the day. There's no getting any closer than this. So thank you... for giving a damn... your what gets me through the times I don't think I'll get through at all. Until next time, Over n' Out!
MW
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