"I'm telling myself I'll be okay "

"Time heals all wounds." The dreaded phrase that most mothers tell their teenage daughters when some immature little pimply boy breaks up with her for the class slut. Yes this little phrase is told to girls all over the world but is it true? Of course it is! You thought I was going to contradict it? HA!

I had a long mixed up day today. I drove into work, moon roof down, sun shining on my skin, hair blowing in the wind, and the radio... off. That's right, off. Sometimes it's nice to turn the music off and let your mind wander. I strolled into work with mixed emotions. Partly relieved that my horrible weekend was over but dreading the long week that was about to begin. On the bright side, I'm going to sunny Cancun this weekend with yummy drinks and hopefully even yummier cabana boys haha

I had a customer say to me today, " Baby you sound so sad, I wish I was there to put a smile on your face." Not only did the comment make me grin from ear to ear but it made me realize how many good people are out there. This man had no idea who I was or what I was capable of saying back and he offered his kindness just to cheer me up. I could have been an insane bitch who told him to mind his own beeswax and stop calling me baby. I thanked the nice gentlemen and told him that I would be just fine!

Lunch rolled around and I took comfort in talking to an old friend who's latest problem is trying to learn karma Sudra for her nympho boyfriend. I told her to thank god that she had a boyfriend who wanted to have that much good sex with her because I swear to god, they rarely exist. I swear I'm the only female in the world who takes pride in her "private sexual moments." You want something, ya gotta do it yourself ladies!

I was able to head to my sisters after work to see my favorite little children who I regrettably have not had the pleasure of spending much time with lately. As they yelled my name, I smiled and remember how little my own problems seem when I get to see their smiling little faces. Still makes me cringe when I leave and they're trying to get me to stay.

And full circle we come around back to here. Laying in bed, talking to you all and thinking about stupid phrases like , "Time heals all wounds" and " Things happen when you least expect it." When someone sits down and tells you this in hopes to make you feel somewhat better all you really want to do is punch them in the face and tell them that it doesn't do shit. But it's important to really see the importance in these phrases. My roommate is probably one of the most insightful woman that I've ever met, most times more than me ( I hate admitting that lol ) But she makes the most sense to me when I feel like completely falling apart.

She told me that when you can't control a situation and have no power over the outcome, just let it fall apart and control the things that have effect over you. Society has a way of placing great importance on the things that are out of our control. Why stress something you have no power over? The answer is we shouldn't. I know this seems so obvious but think about the last thing you stressed over, could you control it? Did you obsess over it? We do it more than you would imagine.

My mother for instance, is a constant stresser and I truly believe that I inherited this horrible flaw. She stresses over the crumbs that my father leaves on the kitchen counter. She cant control what my father does after he spreads the cream cheese on his crispy bagel, but if she didn't like the crumbs there, she could simply wipe them off herself. As a stresser, we just want other people to not only know what makes us tick but want everyone else around us to care enough to not make us stress. But if we just accepted that most of the time we have to clean the crumbs up ourselves, it wouldn't be the end of the world when the other person didn't clean them.

This same approach goes for everything that I do in my life. If I want something, I can't expect anyone else to get it for me except myself. Instead of stressing over the people that are not giving me what I want, it's time to just shut up and get it myself. I used to be like this, I don't know why or at what point I stopped but enough is enough.

Besides this, I'm itchy. I just wanted to add that as I pause between every sentence to scratch my itchy left arm. Never wait 2 weeks before you go away to start tanning. I am burnt and itchy! haha

For the first time in about 2 weeks I feel like I can breathe. I'm not waiting for something bad to happen, I'm not depending on someone else to make me happy, and I'm not falling asleep crying. When you only depend on yourself, it's hard to be disappointed and it's easier to be happy. If I continue to remind myself that I am going to be just fine and remember to smile I know that " Time heals all wounds" and "Things will happen when you least expect them to". Thanks mom <3


Until Next Time, Over N' Out
MW