New Year's my ass!

I know I know, it's been over a week since my last post but you would not believe the amount of things that have been going on!
Christmas was great. I was able to see family I haven't seen in years and lay around the house drinking in my PJ's and generally be lazy. The best kind of holiday right? Right! Unfortunately my grandfather got really sick over the holidays and I've been dealing with everything involved with that and unfortunately he passed away a couple days ago. At the same point in time, my father went into the hospital and my mother had days surgery the next day, so you can imagine why I haven't been around to write to you guys.
This brings me to my topic today; mourning. How should we do it? What's the right kind of mourning? Should we be spending a lot of time with our family after? What's the cure?
I feel as though I've been mourning so many things the past couple weeks. The end of a relationship, money troubles, the death of a close family member, my parents being sick, friends leaving, everything has sort of come along at once. Some days I'm okay, and others I break down and cry. I never know quite how to deal. People say everyone mourns in their own way. My father especially pressures me to mourn the way he wants me to. If I'm out too much, if I don't show emotion, he thinks it means I don't care. When in reality, I just don't want to fall apart.
Life's about the good things... yah the bad ones too, but if we all focused on the bad and didn't get on with our lives, everyone would live in a depressed state of mind and life wouldn't be worth anything. Whenever a relationship goes sour, I tend to go from upset to angry to frustrated to depressed in this vicious cycle until I either a) meet another person or b) I wake the fuck up. The older I get, obviously, I've grown to realize that a person has to be strong enough to be on her own before someone else can make them happy. Why do people always say that? So that if or when things go wrong, you have that foundation of being on your own and being independent that makes getting over a breakup easier and more importantly... possible.
This last guy, we'll call him Mister Sweet Talker ( which is all he was), played me so good that I was going to move my entire life 1,000 miles away without the slightest bit of questioning. Long distance relationships do work, I don't want to ever discourage anyone from them, but you have to make sure that the guy puts in just as much effort as you do! Don't make the mistake I made and make excuses for him, I firmly believe if a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen, no excuses. The first sign that he's not trying hard enough.. cut him loose, it's for your own good and is MUCH easier at the beginning.
Last night was New Years Eve. I had every intention of spending the night with my closest girlfriends, x, y, and z. I love my friends to DEATH, just putting that out there! haha they're a woman's only cure for getting over a guy and without them, I'd still be hung up on my first love who I lost my virginity too in the back seat of his Chevy Blazer, no lie it was just like a movie, just much more awkward and not romantic in any way. But anyways, I thought to myself, ' I don't need a man, I don't need a midnight kiss, and I certainly don't need to get off my ass drunk!' To say the least, although I was intoxicated, I had the worst New Years to date. I need to learn to forget men who don't deserve me and remember that there are so many other fish in the sea...
So now I'm dealing with family issues, men issues, money issues, and those are just the cherry's on my ice cream!
I know I know, I sound like the biggest complainer on the Earth! Like other people don't have the same issues? I guess I just wanted to vent, big time, and give you guys the proper explanation for not being around. Next time I'll be cheery, I promise! :)
Well I'm off to be my fathers slave for the next ohh... couple day's I would say. Time to take down the tree and run errands and blah blah blah, I'm sure you're not interested.
Wow this blog sucks! I'm gonna stop now, until next time! Over n' Out!

Mw