Crazy. That's honestly the only way to describe my life lately. Between work, appointments, working out, and every day errands, I swear I should get an award for my multitasking skills.
Work has proven to test my limits. I think my company is trying to make me crack at the seams. The busiest time of the year and the work load has pretty much tripled since the beginning of the summer. Thankfully the group of people I work with are more colorful than ever which makes every thing bareable. Between gossiping about our adventurous weekends and laughing about our ridiculous nicknames for each other and things, like Big Red and Boontata (spelling?), the day flies and I leave every day with a smile on my face... well most days that is haha
I've been on a new work out obsession. If I don't get in some kind of activity, I feel like a big pile of shit. This weekend I decided to try out my mothers Pilates machine that has been collecting dust in my basement. I made the mistake of trying it without watching the demo DVD first. Note to anyone who uses a exercise machine for the first time: READ OR WATCH THE MANUAL! I'm not going to get into the gory details, but it ended with me sitting on a bag of ice for the rest of the day wishing I wasn't so conceded about my non Pilate skills haha Once I watched the demo DVD and learned the work out routines, I became obsessed. It's my new love and the only thing I'm allowing to open my legs with out hesitation! haha
Other than that so much is coming up and I can not wait to tell you about how it unfolds. With the long weekend coming up and the holiday, I plan on being intoxicated for most of it. Friday night is still open, but parties are lined up for the rest of the weekend, which means a lot of mishing ( a term one of my girl friends and I came up with for "man fishing"), a lot of drunken laughs, and shit ton of eating the best kinds of food. You only live once right?!
Being single has been a pain in the ass but such a blessing at the same time. I don't feel guilty about flirting with the guys that come through work everyday (there's at least 3 a day!), I don't feel obligated to invite my other half to everything I go to, I don't worry about what someone else is going to think about every action I make. I can breathe, be independent, come and go as I please. Please myself and not settle for anything I don't feel I deserve.
Dating's a bitch and no one can tell me otherwise. It's awkward, most times uncomfortable, and you're potentially putting yourself out there just to get burned all over again. My best advice to any woman going through a breakup, take you're time! No man needs to fill a void in your heart, fill your own void! You're going to date again and the next guy may not make your heart skip the way your ex did but you went back out there and maybe it gave you some confidence, maybe it gave you a laugh, maybe its just another story you get to tell but don't rush it. We make the mistake of trying to find someone to replace the last person and it's not getting over anything, it's pushing the past in the closest where it could come back out and bite you in the ass at any minute (i.e ending up going back to your shitty ex that really doesn't deserve you). Learn how to be independent, not alone but independent. Very rarely are you ever going to really be alone, it may not feel that way but it's true.
I spent this past week listening to multiple girls tell me their stories about guys who came in and out of their lives in a matter of weeks, months, years, and I started to realize that all these woman were amazing in their own special ways but they were all burned in the same fashion. Love came and went almost as quickly as they found it. I asked them how they got over it, they all told me time. Isn't that the expected answer? But I also noticed that not one of these girls were in new relationships. I asked them if they weren't over their ex's and they all told me in different ways that they were over them, they just didn't meet someone worth fighting for like that again. I found it inspirational. Maybe we should all remember we're our own saviors and our lives are only what we make it! So make it fucking juicy and worth remembering!!!
Until Next Time, Over N' Out
MW
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
"A little simple can go a long way."
Sunday Funday. What a simple concept. Remember the days when Sunday consisted of sleeping late, playing catch with the family at the local park, and ending with a feast with all your loved ones. Stores were closed and the only important thing you had to do was relax before another grueling work week.
I traveled a couple towns over with my parents to cheer on my uncle for his 6th consecutive year in riding his bike in honor of my Aunt who died from cancer. On the way home, we drove into the surrounding towns remembering the old convenient store my father would take my sisters to get loaded up with candy and slush puppies and the curvy streets he would speed down when we were younger to get our blood pumping with excitement. Old days. They were much more simple.
Once home, my sister and I lounged around the house watching movies and enjoying the essence of a rainy Sunday morning before venturing out to grab some lunch. We strolled into a local shopping plaza and I gazed out wide eyed at the amount of people out shopping and dinning. It was pouring outside and people still traveled from all over to get last minute school shopping done, grab a bite or two before making it home in time for their prime time shows to start on HBO. I'm not going to lie, I half participated in this.
In any event it got me thinking about simplicity. How just 20 years ago, it didn't take a lot to make us happy. I can only speak so much for myself as a twenty something living my 'golden years' in a society where it takes more to be "happy", but listening to the stories my parents tell make a girl think. Like how hitch hiking was natural, or how Sunday's were family days and nothing else. Has society forgotten simplicity or is it just natural as time goes on to expect more.
I still think the best days are ones spend in the park, reading a book, soaking up the sun. And my most peaceful times have been when a phone or computer were no where in sight. Maybe that should be the focus. Simplicity. Learning that stress is just something that makes you go gray faster. Remembering that family should be everything to you. And simplicity can be found in a convenient store, down a curvy crazy road, or right at home... where the heart is.
Until Next Time, Over N' Out
MW
I traveled a couple towns over with my parents to cheer on my uncle for his 6th consecutive year in riding his bike in honor of my Aunt who died from cancer. On the way home, we drove into the surrounding towns remembering the old convenient store my father would take my sisters to get loaded up with candy and slush puppies and the curvy streets he would speed down when we were younger to get our blood pumping with excitement. Old days. They were much more simple.
Once home, my sister and I lounged around the house watching movies and enjoying the essence of a rainy Sunday morning before venturing out to grab some lunch. We strolled into a local shopping plaza and I gazed out wide eyed at the amount of people out shopping and dinning. It was pouring outside and people still traveled from all over to get last minute school shopping done, grab a bite or two before making it home in time for their prime time shows to start on HBO. I'm not going to lie, I half participated in this.
In any event it got me thinking about simplicity. How just 20 years ago, it didn't take a lot to make us happy. I can only speak so much for myself as a twenty something living my 'golden years' in a society where it takes more to be "happy", but listening to the stories my parents tell make a girl think. Like how hitch hiking was natural, or how Sunday's were family days and nothing else. Has society forgotten simplicity or is it just natural as time goes on to expect more.
I still think the best days are ones spend in the park, reading a book, soaking up the sun. And my most peaceful times have been when a phone or computer were no where in sight. Maybe that should be the focus. Simplicity. Learning that stress is just something that makes you go gray faster. Remembering that family should be everything to you. And simplicity can be found in a convenient store, down a curvy crazy road, or right at home... where the heart is.
Until Next Time, Over N' Out
MW
Saturday, August 6, 2011
"Houses of Glass, Praising Jesus, and A Little Bit of Mystery."
Is it really August? Is Summer really half way over? Am I really living back at my parents? How did I get back here?
All these questions run through my mind as I sipped on my wine, laying in my lounge chair on my deck, gazing out at the sun setting on a beautiful August night. Funny how life happens. Like when you think you've figured everything out only to realize you still have a life load of lessons to still learn. Life never seems to be dull that's for sure.
The last couple weeks have been consumed with moving, work, and ... well that's about it. Focusing on myself has become the main task. I feel like a broken record because I know I've said this multiple times. That seems to be how I cope. I opt to 'focus on myself', what ever that actually means. Maybe if I proclaim myself and vow to be a better person, it's bound to pay me back in the long hall... right? Like randomly visiting my lonely grandmother just because I know it'll make her smile, even though I know I'll smell like her for a week. Or putting in extra hours at work knowing I wont get compensated for it. Or even helping a friend in need expecting absolutely nothing in return. Expectations can be a bitch. But if we expect something in return for being a better person, is that really being a better person? Or is that condescending?
I've officially moved back home. This may drive me insane or be exactly what I need... not quite sure just which yet. My mother has a way of being anal about everything, making it difficult to breathe in a house "made of glass" as I like to put it. This is a house where crumbs are not aloud and leaving shoes in the living room? FORGET ABOUT IT! I will say though that the quality time with my father has been missed. Watching mob movies with him recently, for example, is certainly the highlight of my day. I'm smiling just thinking about him saying, "Say hello to my little friend!", as he quotes Scarface. I'm back to late night "Where are you?" and "Can you pick this up for me?" calls. Not that I mind considering I live here for nothing. It's funny remembering the little things that you don't have when you're on your own. Like seeing my little munchkins a ton, which I have been doing a lot of recently. Never again will I let my life get in the way of seeing those kids.
I started seeing a new therapist recently. She was recommended and I'm still trying to figure out why exactly. I've never had a therapist so absolutely absorbed into what I'm saying. I go in, sit down, and say, "Okay where do I start." I then dive into a full blown talk fest about what's been going on, trying not to laugh at her wide eyes, head nodding and full blown body rocking. At one point I thought to myself 'Is she going to suddenly jump out her chair, grab me and shake me saying, "PRAISE JESUS."' and I run out screaming like a 5 year old who just realized Santa's not real. I have a strong opinion about therapy. Mainly because I was in therapy for most of my life. I believe in it, I trust in it. I think it can save you... but she's making me a non believer. Maybe I should consider speaking to someone different.... yah... haha
When I wasn't working or in therapy, I decided to redecorate. I am glad to announce that my bedroom now looks like an Ikea add. You know where they pretty much have nothing really in it, just furniture, lamps, and things on the walls. Some would say 3 mirrors in you're room makes you conceded, I call it Home Decor... maybe a little bit of conceitedness haha
I know what you're all thinking... what about BOYS!! haha What's a good story without a romance hmm? The actual romance part may have to be too be continued, but the boy part? ...
I've thankfully gotten Mister Too Much Potential out of my sights ( I'm sure you recall him from previous posts. I had decided to try to have a relationship with him haha) Note to self: Never date a man who breaks up with you every other month.
Since then the last 2 months has consisted of trying not to sworn men off in the dating world. I've met them all. Tall, short, skinny, rounded, smart, dumb, hot, dorky, cocky, arrogant, childish and immature. Most women would agree that this is most of the male species in the United States between the ages of... well all ages pretty much. I could sit here and tell you all about the guy that told me he's seen better but still proceeded to try to get me to go home with him, or the guy that bragged about how many women he manages to get numbers from when he goes out in hopes that I would give him mine. And don't even get me started on the countless guys who text you asking for dirty pictures, random hookups, or sex texting haha I don't know what women these men meet that give them these things, but it's why chivalry is RARE.
So instead of going on about the ridiculous stories the above men are in, I'll tell you all about the good one. Yes those great guys are out there. The ones that pay for dinner, that open the door for you... that respect you for what you're worth, which should always be everything. So ladies, hold out for him, he's out there and he'll move mountains to be with you. Go slow, take you're time and enjoy every minute of it. Don't expect and don't over analyse even though you really want to. Let life and time take it's course and it'll piece itself together.
Hopefully I'll be telling much much more about this Mister Mystery. Time will tell all.
Until Next Time, Over N' Out!
MW
All these questions run through my mind as I sipped on my wine, laying in my lounge chair on my deck, gazing out at the sun setting on a beautiful August night. Funny how life happens. Like when you think you've figured everything out only to realize you still have a life load of lessons to still learn. Life never seems to be dull that's for sure.
The last couple weeks have been consumed with moving, work, and ... well that's about it. Focusing on myself has become the main task. I feel like a broken record because I know I've said this multiple times. That seems to be how I cope. I opt to 'focus on myself', what ever that actually means. Maybe if I proclaim myself and vow to be a better person, it's bound to pay me back in the long hall... right? Like randomly visiting my lonely grandmother just because I know it'll make her smile, even though I know I'll smell like her for a week. Or putting in extra hours at work knowing I wont get compensated for it. Or even helping a friend in need expecting absolutely nothing in return. Expectations can be a bitch. But if we expect something in return for being a better person, is that really being a better person? Or is that condescending?
I've officially moved back home. This may drive me insane or be exactly what I need... not quite sure just which yet. My mother has a way of being anal about everything, making it difficult to breathe in a house "made of glass" as I like to put it. This is a house where crumbs are not aloud and leaving shoes in the living room? FORGET ABOUT IT! I will say though that the quality time with my father has been missed. Watching mob movies with him recently, for example, is certainly the highlight of my day. I'm smiling just thinking about him saying, "Say hello to my little friend!", as he quotes Scarface. I'm back to late night "Where are you?" and "Can you pick this up for me?" calls. Not that I mind considering I live here for nothing. It's funny remembering the little things that you don't have when you're on your own. Like seeing my little munchkins a ton, which I have been doing a lot of recently. Never again will I let my life get in the way of seeing those kids.
I started seeing a new therapist recently. She was recommended and I'm still trying to figure out why exactly. I've never had a therapist so absolutely absorbed into what I'm saying. I go in, sit down, and say, "Okay where do I start." I then dive into a full blown talk fest about what's been going on, trying not to laugh at her wide eyes, head nodding and full blown body rocking. At one point I thought to myself 'Is she going to suddenly jump out her chair, grab me and shake me saying, "PRAISE JESUS."' and I run out screaming like a 5 year old who just realized Santa's not real. I have a strong opinion about therapy. Mainly because I was in therapy for most of my life. I believe in it, I trust in it. I think it can save you... but she's making me a non believer. Maybe I should consider speaking to someone different.... yah... haha
When I wasn't working or in therapy, I decided to redecorate. I am glad to announce that my bedroom now looks like an Ikea add. You know where they pretty much have nothing really in it, just furniture, lamps, and things on the walls. Some would say 3 mirrors in you're room makes you conceded, I call it Home Decor... maybe a little bit of conceitedness haha
I know what you're all thinking... what about BOYS!! haha What's a good story without a romance hmm? The actual romance part may have to be too be continued, but the boy part? ...
I've thankfully gotten Mister Too Much Potential out of my sights ( I'm sure you recall him from previous posts. I had decided to try to have a relationship with him haha) Note to self: Never date a man who breaks up with you every other month.
Since then the last 2 months has consisted of trying not to sworn men off in the dating world. I've met them all. Tall, short, skinny, rounded, smart, dumb, hot, dorky, cocky, arrogant, childish and immature. Most women would agree that this is most of the male species in the United States between the ages of... well all ages pretty much. I could sit here and tell you all about the guy that told me he's seen better but still proceeded to try to get me to go home with him, or the guy that bragged about how many women he manages to get numbers from when he goes out in hopes that I would give him mine. And don't even get me started on the countless guys who text you asking for dirty pictures, random hookups, or sex texting haha I don't know what women these men meet that give them these things, but it's why chivalry is RARE.
So instead of going on about the ridiculous stories the above men are in, I'll tell you all about the good one. Yes those great guys are out there. The ones that pay for dinner, that open the door for you... that respect you for what you're worth, which should always be everything. So ladies, hold out for him, he's out there and he'll move mountains to be with you. Go slow, take you're time and enjoy every minute of it. Don't expect and don't over analyse even though you really want to. Let life and time take it's course and it'll piece itself together.
Hopefully I'll be telling much much more about this Mister Mystery. Time will tell all.
Until Next Time, Over N' Out!
MW
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