Lines of confusion

Life. What a crazy and confusing concept. What defines it, what makes it whole, even what makes it worth it all. I wish that at my age I could confidently say that I had it all figured out, but unfortunately I do not. I had a long conversation with a friend today and he taught me something. Nothing is certain and if we all keep pretending that we know everything, we won't grow and we'll all end up disappointed. Life is all about the mistakes and the surprises, we shouldn't always try to label everything. Take it one day at a time, people say, but what does that really mean? Do we walk blindly into the future, or do we plan it out to avoid pain or suffering? But isn't life so much more worth it because we know what pain is so we can appreciate when things are blissful?
Oh so many questions and barely any answers. I thought for a short amount of time what I wanted to do with my life... in a straight forward line. But lately I find that the lines have curved and crisscrossed each other. I'm not sure about anything anymore. Things that brought me happiness slowly start to fade and change pretty much becomes inevitable. I have no doubt that when it comes down to that last day, on your death bed, with loved ones ( hopefully) surrounding you as you take your last breathe, that you think about memories and the great things in your life. You're not thinking, "oh my god I wish I had gotten a porshe." Material items are exactly that.. items. So who's to say you can't go and venture out and do those things that make you happy. Because happiness is what it's all about. It's the basis of love and life ( I believe). I sat on a hill with one of my best friends, soaked up the sun on this beautiful day, and truly thought about my life. We remembered all the great things about our friendship and defined our lives as of that day. What brought us there, what tore us down, what lifted us up. All these things intertwined together. I told him how I believe that you learn something out of everything and although he didn't share the same exact philosophy he shared how he believed that things that happened in life have brought you and made you to the person you are today.
After leaving him, I sat at home with my handy little journal and reminisced about everything I've ever written about. Both good and bad, I felt so thankful that even though I don't have it all figured out, I understand that I'll get there. I might not have the expensive car, the handsome husband, or the successful career but I'm happy right where I am at this point in time, and I'm okay with that. I'm excited to see what happens.. to unravel the messy knot of crisscrossing lines that are bound together to make up my life. As long as I always have love in my heart, a smile to share, and a warm hug ready to embrace, I'll be good... I'll be alright. Until next time, Over n' Out!

MW