Pleasantly full ... or am I?

Ahhh Christmas Eve! I had every intention of writing to you about my enormous list of things that everyone has to do on this eventful day ( which I think is more crazy than actual Christmas Day), but I just got an email from my ex wishing me a Merry Christmas and proceeding to tell me how he thinks about me all the time. Talk about an ax through my heart! A guy who proclaimed his love for me but never showed it, a guy who never would really do what he said he would, a guy who I was going to move my entire life 1,000 miles away for until he told me not to because he was drunk when he talked to me about sharing his life with me, a guy who managed to break my heart into twenty thousand pieces on the fucking floor after suddenly disappearing without one word about why he suddenly is gone from my life! I know what you're thinking... dump his ass. Well I did, although at this point I'm not even sure he got the message. Yah I mean like actual message, I broke up with his voicemail. I'd normally bitch about this, saying it's completely "heartless", but to be truthful considering he disappeared without one word for over two weeks even after my attempts to figure out what the HELL was going on, I'd say I don't really owe him anything.

Anyways, changing the subject in hopes to completely forget that email, I'm in the process of getting ready for the biggest party of the year, for my family that is. I'm sure you're dying to know how my work Christmas party went ( I know you are!), and the answer is it was a blast. I love being able to stuff down food and watch someone else have to answer phones and take care of bitchy-ass customers. I'm a part time receptionist and sadly I've gotten so close to the people at work that I actually look forward to going in on my days off just to hang out with everyone, ha!

I got to flirt with a zillion guys, who are more like father and brothers to me now (kinda gross ha ha), and crack jokes and relax. I emphasize relax because I honestly haven't relaxed since I got sick 3 weeks ago and got to spend the day in my bed watching old 80's movies, sad I know. Anyways, it was a hit, there was an insane amount of food and I'm pleasantly full, not bloated though thank god!

So now I have to get ready for the family Christmas party, aka the party fest where family members get drunk and crack the same jokes we've heard for years, which we all still laugh about! It honestly is my favorite night of the year. Tonight we're cramming 70 people in a tiny house, eating gourmet food... literally its catered... do holiday traditions and drive home exhausted where I'll be able to pass out in happiness. So right now, I know I'm cutting you short and that I'm not being as comical as I was last time, but I'm both excited about tonight and want to puke at the thought of a guy that I still (unfortunately) care and love a ton, sending me an email claiming he thinks about me all the time. UGH BAH HUMBUG! (no idea if that's how you really spell it) Until tomorrow, Over n' Out!

MW

Grandmothers, Cookies & Jesus

The beginning... actually lets say this is "The Start." The start of what you might be thinking? This is the start of the mind of she. She being me, Miss Words, the worst possible nickname I formed in College when friends started to notice the complicated moments when I would ramble about the most pointless topics. This, I developed due to being an English major, consuming too much alcohol, and having one too many break-ups. So for short you can call me MW. For obvious reasons, I'm choosing to stay anonymous ... actually it isn't obvious ... only that it seems appropriate to change the names so that it doesn't get insanely personal. Although every blog seems to be personal, I'm far more interested in your entertainment. :)
So to begin with... actually to start with, lets talk about Christmas. My body cringes at the sound of constant Christmas music on every radio station, the overwhelming smell of peppermint that makes candy my worst enemy, and the frustrating amount of cars out on the road that makes driving really just want to kill myself. Ahh good ole Christmas. A time that's suppose to spread laughter and cheer really just brings empty pockets and family hostility.
I know what you're thinking, that's so negative. Although I do feel all these things, there's nothing I love more than opening gifts in front of a fireplace with a room full of the people I love, and a big glass of wine in my hand. Now that's Christmas and I can assure you, a lot of women would agree with me. Yes it's true, its not all about the presents and the parties, it's about giving and receiving. Well from the non existent sex life I've had for the past oh.. lets just say many moons ago, it's safe to say I haven't been giving.. or receiving much lately. That was a joke, obviously, please laugh.
With all these expectations of gifts and holiday cheer, it's difficult to really be sad at this time of year. Ha that rhymed! Despite the relationship, money, and family issues that lets face it.. everyone has, it really is about spending time with your loved ones and being thankful for what you have. Blah blah blah, corny I know, but it's true.
For example, tonight I'm driving through the snow, yes I'm aware it says I'm from North Carolina, but like I said I'm remaining anonymous so giving away my location could be a hint to other things. So anyways, I'm trucking through the snow to one of my best friend's house which is a convenient 10 minutes away. I will drink wine and genuinely have a good time with my friends who I haven't seen in quite some time. I'm anticipating it to be one of the best nights I've had in awhile, so hopefully my expectations aren't too high.
I sat up all night last night deciding what it was I wanted to talk about today, today being today because it's the only free second I have to actually get to write to you guys. Anyways, my mind was all over the place, like always, and I ended up awake until 4 and mad at myself for not catching up on much needed sleep which I could have done. This has been the case a lot lately, but certain stressful points get everyone thinking, right?
Stress is just the base of my life. A child that worried constantly of the outcome of her life, it's safe to say I'm a stress-er, most writers are. Fortunately we have the greatest advantage of getting it out of our system.
After work today, I drove to my grandmother's house, who I haven't seen since Thanksgiving (not without much grief from her considering I live 15 minutes away), in hopes of getting cooking supplies for my grand Christmas party at work tomorrow. Not only did I stay way longer than intended too (don't you hate that) but I was stuffed with everything from cookies to ice cream to these enormous cupcakes that she "spent all day over the oven cooking."
How could I possibly resist? This lead to the longest discussion of Jesus she's given me to this day. God bless my grandmother! So now I'm bloated, tired, Jesus-ed out and completely overstocked in Betty Crocker's chocolate chip cookies, at least no one will complain there isn't enough desert tomorrow.
The Christmas party tomorrow should be interesting and just about everyone will still be working... except me ha ha! I planned it out so that I can go, enjoy my food, then be on my way. Then again I work with 20+ men so the amount of food I will actually get may be small. I'll fill you in on how it goes. In the mean time, I'm off to bake some brownies, de-bloat, and drink myself into happiness tonight in hopes to forget my ass of an ex-boyfriend. OH that will be saved for it's own blog! Over n' Out.

-MW